Sabbath Day and I Reunite...

OK so today was the first time I have attended a full day of church in a really long time. Sacrament, Sunday School and Relief Society. As I sat there today in church thinking about pretty much everything including the fact that my husband was not there do too the Military...Any who as I sat there thinking about how much my life has changed and how much I have taken for granite.

Its amazing what you can accomplish in a day if you really try... The in that two days I have done more physically than I have in the last 3 months I think. Sad right?! I truly believe that happiness is def. a choice in life that we have to make and than no matter what you have to take the bad with the good even if you thinks the hardest thing you have ever had to do in your life. I have always thought of love and marriage as this whole fairytale thing ... that it would be like Cinderella or Beauty and The Beast ...

Trust me I had a huge awakening...but the beautiful part of all of it is I have found my best friend in the process. I have gotten the greatest gift of all...another family that loves me more than I could ever ask for. Take my mother in law for instance...I call her a true lady of Zion cause to me she is. Laura is her own self and has encountered many obstacles of her own that I as a person do not think I would be able to ever get through. Raising 5 kids and then once she gets done with that raising 3 more, her beautiful granddaughters. I will be honest at first I did not think Laura really cared for me. Then we started spending time together and getting to know one another and i have really grown to love her. i love her like my own mother.

Anyways today in church was just thing I needed for the rut that I have been in the last month. Marriage is def. hard FOR ANYONE. But all in the end I truly believe that Michael is the one for me and no matter what bump is thrown our way we will always get through it. :D :D I have a lot of things standing in my way of eternity with my husband but as I have been told many times...i can only take on day at a time and that's all I am going to worry about. That and taking care of my family. My testimony with my church and Heavenly Father is strong but I know that it truly can be stronger. Its going to take time and some really hard work on both mine and Michael's part but I know he loves me more than anything and we will reach the Temple one day and the day that happens will be the best day in my life.

To my second Family...

Eastmans....I love you guys with all my heart and could never thank you enough for everything that you do for me and Michael we could never repay you for the things you have done and said to help us on our way. Thank you!

Finally Made It...

Look at me, Can't believe I finally made it here Feelin' like I’m where I belong Singin’ my hallelujah song Hard to find, took some time But I think that I might be Hittin’ on what’s been missin’ all along Singin’ my hallelujah song It’s a highway slidin’ through a Sunday afternoon It’s a snapshot smilin’ like we ain’t got nothing to loose It’s the peace in knowin’ that Love is gonna be gone someday But you only get more when you give it away Yeah, yeah, yeah Look at me, Can't believe I finally made it here Feelin' like I’m where I belong Singin’ my hallelujah song Hard to find, took some time But I think that I might be Hittin’ on what’s been missin’ all along Singin’ my hallelujah song It’s a sweet prayer Knowin someone’s up there hearin’ it Divine punch-lines take a little time But I’m gettin’ it Life is more than just How many breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away Baby take my breath away! Yeah Look at me, Can't believe I finally made it here Feelin' like I’m where I belong Singin’ my hallelujah song, yeah Hard to find, took some time But I never would’ve thought myself That there were angels helpin’ me all along Singin’ my hallelujah song My hallelujah…..My hallelujah! Singin’ my hallelujah song Oh, oh, yeah Oh, oh, yeah

Another Stupid Fight On My Part....

So right before bed last night Michael and I got into a bit of an arguement about...you guessed it MONEY AND JOBS ... well when I woke up at like 7am this morning and just layed in bed thinking about all of it I decided to do some research....and here is what I found...

The nation's unemployment rate bolted to 7.2 percent in December, the highest level in 16 years, as nervous employers slashed 524,000 jobs, capping one of the worst years in modern history for American workers.
The Labor Department's report, released Friday, underscored the grim toll the deepening recession is having on workers and companies. And it highlights the difficulty President-elect Barack Obama faces in resuscitating the flat-lined economy. This year has gotten off to a rough start with a flurry of big corporate layoffs, pointing to another year of hefty job reductions.
"There is no end in sight in terms of layoffs," said economist Ken Mayland, president of ClearView Economics. "January could be worse because some companies put layoffs on hold because of holiday sensitivities."
Not only are employers slashing jobs; they also are cutting workers' hours and forcing some into part-time work. The average work week in December fell to 33.3 hours, the lowest level on records dating to 1964 — and a sign of more job reductions in the months ahead, economists said.
Obama called the unemployment report "a stark reminder of how urgently action is needed" to revive the nation's staggering economy. And Hilda Solis, his pick for labor secretary, called the job losses "a crisis situation" and said one of her initiatives would promote "green jobs" that could reduce the nation's dependence on foreign oil.
For all of 2008, the economy lost a net total of 2.6 million jobs. It was the first time payrolls had fallen for a full year since 2002 and was the most since 1945, when nearly 2.8 million jobs were lost. Though the U.S. labor force has more than tripled since then, losses of this magnitude are still being painfully felt.
With employers throttling back hiring, the nation's jobless rate averaged 5.8 percent last year. That was up sharply from 4.6 percent in 2007 and was the highest since 2003.
All told, 11.1 million people were unemployed in December. In addition, 8 million people were working part time — a category that includes those who would like to work full time but whose hours were cut back or those who were unable to find full-time work. That was up sharply from 7.3 million in November.
While economists were forecasting even more payroll reductions in December — around 550,000 — job losses in both October and November turned out to be deeper than previously estimated. Revised figures showed employers slashed 584,000 positions in November and 423,000 in October.
The unemployment rate, meanwhile, rose from 6.8 percent in November, to 7.2 percent last month, the highest since January 1993. Economists were expecting the jobless rate to rise to 7 percent.
During President George W. Bush's nearly eight years in office, 3 million jobs were created. In President Clinton's two terms, nearly 21 million jobs were generated.
Meanwhile, the Commerce Department reported Friday that wholesale inventories dropped 0.6 percent in November, the third straight month of business cutbacks, while sales were down a record 7.1 percent. On Wall Street, stocks slid. The Dow Jones industrials lost more than 110 points in afternoon trading.
Job losses were widespread in December. Construction companies slashed 101,000, and manufacturers axed a a whopping 149,000 jobs. Professional and business services got rid of 113,000 jobs. Retailers eliminated nearly 67,000 jobs, and leisure and hospitality reduced employment by 22,000. That more than swamped gains in education and health care, and the government.
Employers are chopping costs as they try to cope with dwindling appetite from customers in the U.S. as well as in other countries, which are struggling with their own economic problems.
Workers with jobs saw modest wage gains. Average hourly earnings rose to $18.36 in December, up 0.3 percent from the previous month. Economists were expecting a 0.2 percent increase.
Over the year, wages have risen 3.7 percent, though high prices for energy and food earlier this year made people feel that their paychecks weren't stretching that far.
The U.S. recession, which just entered its second year, is already the longest in a quarter-century and is likely to stretch well into this year. The fact that the country is battling a housing collapse, a lockup in lending and the worst financial crisis since the 1930s make the current downturn especially dangerous.
Corporate layoffs continue to pile up. G&K Services Inc., which provides uniforms and facility services, on Friday said it is eliminating 460 jobs as it aims to trim costs amid weak demand. And late Thursday, Intermec Inc., which makes electronic devices for tracking inventory, said it plans to cut 150 jobs, or 7 percent of its work force.
Earlier this week, drugstore operator Walgreen Co., managed care provider Cigna Corp., aluminum producer Alcoa Inc., data-storage company EMC Corp. and computer products maker Logitech International all announced major layoffs to cope with the recession.
All the problems have forced consumers and companies alike to retrench, feeding into a vicious cycle that Washington policymakers are finding difficult to break.
Obama says a bold approach is needed to bust through this cycle and revive economy.
"I don't believe it's too late to change course, but it will be if we don't take dramatic action as soon as possible," he said Thursday.
"If nothing is done, this recession could linger," Obama warned. "The unemployment rate could reach double digits."
Obama, who takes over Jan. 20, is promoting a huge package of tax cuts and government spending that could total $775 billion over two years. With add-ons by lawmakers, the package could swell to $850 billion, his advisers say.
Even with a new government stimulus and the Federal Reserve's decision to ratchet down a key interest rate to an all-time low, the unemployment rate is expected to keep rising. Some economists think it could hit 9 or 10 percent at the end of this year.

So with all this new common knowledge I do not even know where to begin! Im very scared for my future. Its going to be hard looking into the positive sides of things when I have all this in the back of my mind. Anyone that does have a job right now. Hold onto it the longest you can and save save save save save!!!!

TOTALLY FED UP...

Ok so I have had alot of free time on my hands and I have come to the conclusion that sometimes life just is not worth what it really seems. In todays world I strongly believe that marriage is TOTALLY overrated and should not be pressured on young woman or woman in general...SERIOUSLY trust me on this. TAKE YOUR TIME and have some fun before settling down. Life is way too short to let yourself go! Do not get me wrong I love my husband very much but as I take a look around he does not have the same motivation or determination as I have come to develop and I just do not understand it at all and is quite frustrating if you ask me but hey what am I going to do...anyways i think that is all in the matter got to get going love to everyone!

Another Day In Paradise...

Well I guess I could start off by thanking my mother-in-law for getting me started on this. Things are good in this little Eastman clan. Although I have learned ALOT about marriage in the short 2 in ahalf 3 months I have been married so let me share with you some thoughts...

I used to think that i was smart, I knew life was not a storybook : but come on admit it somewhere in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick -- and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty. That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love.
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy -- your soul mate -- you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, "This is so not what I signed up for."
Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. That's when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It's not him. It's just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale.
2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naivete, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths -- and from where he sits, you're pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done -- it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process. It's like losing weight.You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it's a lifestyle. That's marriage. The effort is a forever thing." So don't be too hard on yourself -- or him -- on those days when you feel like you're struggling through remedial math.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. This was a huge lesson for me. As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself -- let the emotions settle a bit -- and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day.
4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Michael has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns -- often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong -- there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage, Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise.
5. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Michael and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real -- sometimes buried -- issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.
6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic "Making Mr. Right?" When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man -- sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us -- something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we're doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man -- stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies -- is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
There were clues when Michael and I were dating well if you called it dating I took a flight risk when I married him,trust me 2 months is not long enough to know someone especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, "I'll call you at 8." Then, just to try to trip me up, he'd call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn't figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me -- really and truly -- this stuff wouldn't happen.
I'd like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After months of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best mom a girl could ever have, I've come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I've had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together -- and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.